I walk into the AP English room only to find a black hole of doom sucking my classmates and me into its dark shadows. As we swirl around in the space-time continuum, we collectively decide we have stumbled upon a time-traveling machine. Several images of significant past and future events flash before our eyes before we see Ms. Serensky dancing the Charleston, clad in a black sparkly dress with her short hair in tight curls. Instinctively, I jump out of the vortex to come face-to-face with Ms. Serensky’s dancing partner, Mr. Jay Gatsby. With a smirk on her face and a twinkle in his eye, I understand that Ms. Serensky simply forgot to close the time portal and every day travels back to the Roaring Twenties to visit her soul mate. He introduces himself and greats me with “welcome to my house party” as he takes our hands and drags us to the heart of the carousal: the vod… food. Luckily for us contemporary girls, kale chips remain non-existent at this time so we enjoy REAL food and observe our fellow party guests. We spot mob members and priests, to girls fidgeting with their dresses and women passed out from too much eating (a.k.a. food coma). Jay suggests we enter the dance contest so we make our way over to the disc jockey booth. We agreeably decide on “Three O’Clock in The Morning” by Paul Whiteman. I decide to watch from the fountain as the couple dances circles around everybody else. Suddenly, a ghastly howl crawls out of Ms. Serensky’s mouth as tears stream down her face, smudging her delicate makeup. I run over to check on her just in time to hear her scream “YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY TO A SENTENCE WITH A PREPOSITION?” In the moment, I realize Jay Gatsby does not hold the key to the world, he holds terrible grammar. Before Ms. Serensky has the opportunity to dropkick him in the jaw, I drag her back to the portal as she yells eloquent profanities to the smoky air behind her. When I go to comfort her, she refutes and mutters something about a blue rebound or something of the sort. I stand fairly certain that Ms. Serensky and I have eaten too much and therefore our thoughts remain fuzzy and fragmented because as soon as we arrive in the classroom, I cannot form words to describe the experience to my frazzled classmates.
