Reaping the Rewards of Redemption

Redemption. A word loaded with passion, power, and determination, it holds enough promise to restore hope in the hearts of millions. But what does redemption mean to me? Redemption finds its way into my veins after shamefully losing to my eight-year-old cousin in Corn Hole at our annual family reunion. The sun decides to shine right into my eyes, but that never convinces anyone else. I cannot let one blemish tarnish my reputation as the Corn Hole Queen. Four more hours remain in the gathering and desperation fills me as I search to find a way to put this bragging ignoramus in her place. Eating contest? No, that corned beef and hash smells like Aunt Nancy’s dentures. Texting race? No, kids these days do technology so much better. Thinking, thinking, thinking, and then it hits me, Capture the Flag: the ultimate test of intelligence, endurance, and thievery. Not that I have any particular experience in stealing… *cough* Pumpkining *cough*. I gather the forces because I no longer wish to involve myself in one-versus-one combat with this demon. I find my tallest uncle, my fastest cousin, my oldest grandparent (because who really wants to harm the frail one?) and we prepare for war. To say that we dug and marked her grave before she could infiltrate our boundaries would stand as a large understatement. Ah, the sweet taste of redemption on a warm summer night. Not to characterize myself arrogantly, but I often reminisce on that moment and link the unmatched feeling to my life in AP English. AP English: (n) the sole class in high school that will take you on an emotional roller coaster on a daily basis. Every nine weeks of the school year, my brain throbs, my fingers cramp, and I swear by Shakespeare’s holy name that I have carpal tunnel syndrome. I begin to lose faith that I will ever catch a break and then, suddenly, a beacon of light shines through the windows in room 329. Call me crazy, but I believe that after four years of annotating with literary devices, I can apply symbolism to this majestic moment. This light symbolizes ebullience, happy endings, and fluffy unicorns in a horror movie. Why? Extra credit season has finally arrived and let us justsay the best way I know how to spell redemption looks a whole lot like b-o-n-u-s-p-o-i-n-t-s. The time has come for me to overshadow my humiliating loss against my number one enemy, grammar. I quickly scan the room for my usual crew, Kackin* and Mampers* (rest in peace, Sockie Slemens*). Our creation of a three-headed monster works diligently under the pressure of practice AP testing dominance. Yes, we miss questions from time-to-time, but working with two of the most intelligent people I know gives me great confidence that our success will prevail in the end. As they say, “three heads are better than one.” Not only do these bonus points give my grade a desired boost at the end of the quarter, but they also help alleviate the pain from my occasional “what was I THINKING?” essays. So, what have I learned from extra credit? For one, I have never appreciated an opportunity provided to me in high school more than Ms. Serensky’s extra credit. To future students, take full advantage of this day, make it fun, cheer obnoxiously, and thank your teacher for throwing you a lifeline at the end of a dark tunnel. Second off, life will throw its ups and downs at you. Sure, you may botch up a few times, but whatever path you choose to take, I can guarantee that at the end of that road, a little girl stands waiting to serve you a cup of sweet, sweet redemption.

*Pseudonyms used for the protection of students' identities. 

So Much for Happy Endings

Finished. The last line of my summer reading complete. Relief. And extreme discontent. Why Strout? Why! Elizabeth Strout, author of a disappointing and fairly depressing book, Olive Kitteridge, writes thirteen short stories majorly surrounding concepts of loveless marriage, cheating, and desire to return to the "golden ages" of youth. Surprisingly enough, not the adventurous and thrilling reading book I typically imagine completing during the summer season. If I ever meet Strout, I plan to slam her with riveting questions. But first and foremost I will ask Strout, "Why does love exist in such a dark place in your mind?" Throughout the novel, Strout expressed the great disappointment of love as couples age, grow far apart and lose touch with the person they once thought of so fondly. For example, as Olive confronts Henry of not protecting her, Henry fervently claims, "'all the years... you've [never] once apologized'" (123). As Henry's emotions finally boil over the top, his claim creates an external conflict between a confused Olive and his own fed-up self. The conflict only adds to the growing gap between the once young lovers, desperately passionate and kind toward each other. As they age, however, Strout seems insistent on making their lives more miserable as they fight and struggle to find words to speak to each other without adding a tone of patronization. Similarly, after discovering that her husband, Roger, cheats on her, Louise speaks with extreme hatred claiming, "his heart beats twice an hour" (153). Through her livid tone, Louise indirectly characterizes herself as hurt and betrayed by the love of her life. I simply do not understand why Strout feels the need to destroy every relationship in this novel by one fowl swoop of her pen. An innocent Louise crushed by Roger's heartlessness, Nina left in the dark as Tom sleeps with another women, and even poor, old, Olive feels such betrayal as Henry moves even further away from their marriage. To top off my disappointment with the novel, Olive declares, "'I don't care if I die'" to a man she meets on a bench in her old age (254). Left alone by Henry and separated from her son, Christopher, Olive's life of continuous hardships finally catches up to her. While Strout creates sorrowful pathos from other elderly people who remain alone in the world, she writes Olive as sadly accepting of her own death due to the loneliness that drowns her. With no one left to love, her desperation breaks my heart, knowing that even after her father's suicide, her life never turned back around to present her with a slice of happiness. Does Strout assert that happy endings simply do not exist in real life? That only in fairy tales with longing princesses and handsome princes can a life full of love truly work out? Thanks to Strout's dominant tone of sorrow throughout the entire work, the future frightens me as I acknowledge the hurt that anyone can cause me. Overall, I feel that I will never understand the level of resistance the Strout so heavily enforces against love in the world. Why, Strout? Why?

"Olive" is an Anagram for "I love"

Since my adolescence, I have adopted a rather present sense of pride to my personality. This said, I naturally do not enjoy when people of any age speak to me with tones of condescension or judgment. So, I found myself in a constant state of aggravation whenever Olive voiced her snarky opinions throughout the beginning of Elizabeth Strout's Olive Kitteridge. Bouncing between Strout's thirteen short stories, the early words of the novel left me unimpressed with Olive's repetitive disrespect for her husband, Henry, and her resistance to showing any emotion, even to her loved ones. However, as the novel turns to focus solely on Olive's thoughts in the chapter, "A Different Road," I found myself feeling sympathetic for the woman stuck half-naked in a hospital bathroom. While I originally characterized Olive as old and bitter, she showed me a different side when she explains that she "pictured teaching [her son's]... children how to plant" (107). Through her hopeful diction of "pictured," Olive speaks with a disappointed tone as she shows the audience her deep sorrow upon her beloved son, Christopher's, departure to California. Olive humanizes herself as she shows her deep love for her son, despite the fact that she can hardly admit compassion for her own husband. Not only does Olive mask her loving emotions from the world, but also her emotions of fear or hurt. Like a brick wall, Olive shows no disturbance as a nurse at the hospital informs her that she needs to see a doctor for fear of her dying from a crabmeat allergic reaction: "'for God's sake,'... but her heart banged fast" (110). Hear, Strout highlights Olive's inability to show weakness to anyone but herself. While she indirectly characterizes herself as brave and unfazed, she gives the audience a hint that she has walls built up around her heart, implying that someone or something has hurt her deeply in the past. As the reader later finds out about her father's suicide, Olive's bitterness finally begins to make sense. Her internal conflict to show emotion creates pathos from people who have suffered a traumatic event, evoking pity as Olive forces herself to face the world alone. Similarly, as Olive sits trapped and threatened in the hospital bathroom with a gun waiting to fire, "she was crying, everything was all messed up" (121). The amount of sympathy I feel for Olive as she lets all of her bottled emotions out remains immense. Not only did she lose her own father to suicide at a long age, but she also lost her son to a controlling wife, lost her husband's heart to a young coworker, Denise, and now sees the world losing touch with her. Finally, I can appreciate Olive, no longer a heartless robot, but a regular woman, facing her own struggles as life passes her by. Reading her thoughts, Olive has changed my once bitter emotions toward her and has taught me that more often than not, human nature makes it easy for us to judge people upon a simple look or greeting. No one can fully understand the life that someone lives day-to-day, so do not try.

Time Tales

As I prepare for my final year of high school, my final year before I reach "adulthood," I ponder how time has so stealthily carried me quickly through the past three years. As a child, I dreamed about the days when the law would allow me to drive, when I would have a curfew later than sunset, and when I would finally be tall enough to reach the microwave buttons without standing on a chair. So, now I stand at a crossroads: once a naive child longing to grow up, now I stand as a young adult pleading my mother to stop nagging me about filling out college applications. Do I want to move forward into independence or do I wish to remain in a carefree time of acting young and reckless? In Elizabeth Strout's novel, Olive Kitteridge, the author address the major conflict of time passing which affects the lives of many characters. The conflict holds a definite role in the middle-aged pharmacist, Henry Kitteridge's, life. Working with a young woman named Denise, Henry often finds himself infatuated with her "childlike" essence (9). As his marriage finds itself dull and passionless, Henry feels an intense desire to "be in... presence of this young couple [Denise and husband, Henry]" (5). Strout juxtaposes the exciting marriage of the young couple to the distant one of Olive and Henry. As Henry indirectly characterizes himself as jealous of the young couple's spark and extreme devotion to each other, he speaks with a nostalgic tone as he longs for the days of immense happiness with his wife. Through the nostalgic tone, Strout asserts that people often lose touch with their own youth, only erasing the worry-free world they one existed in. While I have never experienced marriage myself, I understand Henry's wish to return to his days of carelessness with Olive. I often reflect on my childhood days with my oldest brother, Justin. Once duty-free, we held the ability to play games for hours, while nowadays we have grown apart due to the hectic working world he now resides in. I truly miss the close relationship we once held, just like Henry misses his own with Olive. On a different note, Strout introduces the character of Kevin Coulson, a young man still in the process of growing up and finding himself. Looking from a different perspective, Kevin acknowledges that the world's youth tries too hard to grow up. Kevin thinks to himself deciding it "sad... always a new age dawning" (42). Through his declaration, Kevin seems disappointed as he backs Strout's claim that people need to slow down and enjoy today. As a teenager, I admit that I fall victim to Kevin's point. With each crave to snag the next iPhone, each desperate need catch the latest celebrity gossip; I have unfortunately let my days of youth pass me by. Always longing for the next best thing, I have allowed myself to miss out on the small things that make these years so special; however, I also acknowledge that I cannot turn back time as I also wish the characters in Strout's novel would realize. Always melancholy and nostalgic, characters like Henry, Kevin, and many others waste their lives trying to turn back the clock. I believe that at any age, young or old, people will wish for something they once held, or will hold in the future. Embrace the time given, "today is a gift, that's why they call it the present."

We're All Getting Old

Another book completed, another sun set, another day passed. Sad but true, life comes and goes and as fast-pace as it comes along, we have no control over how much time we get to spend on earth. After the completion of Something Wicked This Way Comes, it has made me reconsider taking advantage of my young life because Bradbury truly unhinges the sadness that individual's face when growing up. While many aspects of the novel encompass childhood innocence, many scenes open my eyes to the realities of life. For example, innocent and naive Jim Nightshade tries to go about life without getting hurt. Unfortunately, Jim's mother breaks the news only to prepare him for inevitable disappointment later down the line: "'You'll live and get hurt'" (41). Through Bradbury's claim that children remain innocent and un-phased of the hardships in young life, I came to realize that no one can go through life unscathed. Why not take risks if I will find myself forced to live the rest of my short life in regret? I have only one thing to say: YOLO (You Only Live Once). Yes, the corny line by contemporary rap artist Drake has fallen victim to the scorn of critics across the globe; however, Bradbury's work opens my eyes to the truth of the statement. Never again will I come across the opportunities that face me today. As written in my last blog entry, I hope to  stop fearing death some day. Knowing that death looms in my future remains a sad truth; yet, I know how to make it work to my advantage. Like Mr. Halloway states, "'death makes everything else sad'" (137). To me, Mr. Halloway's acceptance of aging only encourages me to take death as a gift, not a threat. As crazy and controversial as it may seem, by the end of my lifetime, I pray that I have accomplished everything on my bucket list and I will stand ready to rest with open arms. I will not live with regrets as I have done in the past. As a young adult, I sadly force myself to grow up all too quickly, enabling myself to truly appreciate all that life has to offer. Through Bradbury's juxtaposition of childhood manners, demonstrated through his young and naive characters of  Jim and Will, and adult wisdoms, shown through the wise janitor, Mr. Halloway, I have seen all the advantages that life has to offer at all different stages of growth. While the surface of this novel revolves around a carnival, a deeper exploration shows the internal conflict of characters growing up and growing old and the hardships that come along with those concepts. I applaud Bradbury for effectively capturing the spectrum of emotions that run rampant in these changes of human life. One thing I know for sure, I will live every day for here on out to the fullest. As my favorite musician, Dave Matthews, once sang, "celebrate we will, 'cause life is short but sweet for certain.'"

Accepting the Inevitable

Ludwig Börne once said, "Losing an illusion makes you wiser than finding a truth." Immortality remains such an illusion that people across the world continually struggle to deny, like in Ray Bradbury's acclaimed fiction fantasy, Something Wicked This Way Comes. In this novel, Mr. Halloway, a library janitor, finds great difficulty in accepting his age as he watches over his thirteen-year-old son, Will. However, throughout the novel, Mr. Halloway learns to deal with growing old and recognizes that nothing lasts forever. Therefore, my favorite passage in the book so far comes when Mr. Halloway comes to the realization that he must lose the illusion of staying young forever in order to live his life fully. As the deceiving mirrors in the Mirror Maze shatter, Mr. Halloway knows he has beaten the trap "All because he accepted everything at last" (260). Through his proud tone, Mr. Halloway claims that no individual can last forever and that growing up comes with its perks as well. I personally, found great appreciation for the old janitor as he "showed his acceptance with sound" (260). As Bradbury indirectly characterizes the man as exuberant, I realize that this passage mirrors how I would like to live my life someday with no regrets. The strength Mr. Halloway holds in accepting his age allows himself to feel comfortable with himself which leads to the ultimate demise of the evils of the carnival. Already, throughout my life I see myself growing older and wish that I can slow down time if only to enjoy the golden age that I currently live in. However, after experiencing the revelation that Mr. Halloway feels, I now know that no matter my age, I can always feel at home with myself. I feel while Something Wicked This Way Comes stands as a liberating tale of good and evil, it also embodies the internal conflict of childhood and adulthood. While all those say that our childhood years remain the best of our lives, this passage gives me reassurance that good things come at all ages. While Mr. Halloway may no longer be young enough to run around with Jim and Will, he has knowledge in wisdom that come hand-in-hand with his years of age. 

Opposites Attract

As we round out our final year of high school, I reflect on the people I have met, befriended, and shared important memories with. Yes, similar interests brought me to these individuals; however, each one of them continuously shows me that opposites attract. Due to this concept, I have made friends with people who hold extremely conservative views, with those who find an addiction to corny romantic comedies, and even with those who can jam out all night to a nice Metallica Pandora station. In this way, I feel as if I can relate to Jim and Will's odd relationship in the fiction novel, Something Wicked This Way Comes by Ray Bradbury. The way that Bradbury indirectly characterizes Jim from the very beginning as a risk-taker when he remains hesitant to protect his house from lightning striking, questioning, "why spoil the fun?" juxtaposes the pragmatic nature of Will who persuades Jim to protect his home (10). I believe that Bradbury sees the world as an open canvas in which people are put together to grow and learn from others. The differences between Will and Jim remain apparent to any reader; yet, their differences remain the reason that they stick together. Without their counterpart, they have nothing to keep them grounded. With this enlightenment on human relationships, I agree with Bradbury's outlook on the world. Mr. Halloway truly captures my appreciation as he watches the two young boys and thinks, "that's friendship, each playing the potter" (18). Within his thoughts, Mr. Halloway makes the assertion that friends fall molded by friends in order to bring diversity and open-mindedness to each other. In these ways, I find myself with a similar outlook on life as Bradbury. We both believe that uniform likeness has the ability to make life dull and boring. No growth can be made as an individual without having an open-mind to the world. So, my advice to any readers follows (as corny as cliches come): Never judge a book by its cover. You never know how dramatically someone can change you before you allow yourself to get to know him or her. Whether you believe in Evolution or Creationism, the fact of the matter remains that people's differences stand to thank for the advancement of our culture. We continue to make progress as individuals because we can learn and grasp different opinions from those with opposite outlooks on life.